they need a crying emoticon on here... today, well, at least this morning was a disaster. the rest of the day still has the potential to be good but this morning was... AWFUL.
last night, i went to bed and so did hunter after the whole poly discussion went down. in the middle of the night i woke up and he wasn't in bed so...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
omg... i told hunter tonight, just a few minutes ago, while i was stoned... i carelessly said it. "i'm poly." he started crying and all this stuff and asking me lots of questions about doubting how much i love him.
it's just that, i want 1 romantic relationship --with him. and i also want sexual relationships with a lot of people. is that unusual? probably...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
thefreak:
*hugs*
Lets cover all the bases.
You ARE honest. And it's not like you went out cheating on him.
You are NOT "sexually sick" or "mentally ill" because of how you feel. That's the argument of Christians getting to you.
You two just need to sit and have a talk. Simple as that.
-TM
Lets cover all the bases.
You ARE honest. And it's not like you went out cheating on him.
You are NOT "sexually sick" or "mentally ill" because of how you feel. That's the argument of Christians getting to you.
You two just need to sit and have a talk. Simple as that.
-TM
gawd... i'm so fucking crazy and ambivalent. i think... haha, no joke there either. 
i decided that breaking up with hunter is a stupid thing to do. he's backed down in the sense of being kind of controlling of my lifestyle and doesn't nag as much anymore. but also, i just realized how damned much the guy loves me. i think that, perhaps i am...
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i decided that breaking up with hunter is a stupid thing to do. he's backed down in the sense of being kind of controlling of my lifestyle and doesn't nag as much anymore. but also, i just realized how damned much the guy loves me. i think that, perhaps i am...
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thefreak:
Well, glad you're on the up and up, as slow as it might be. 
-TM
-TM
hello world... my usual greeting.
today i woke up feeling like shit again, as always. so i took some ritalin to get my french homework done. well, nothin' got done. i feel better now (haha, now that i'm on uppers... what a joke ::rolling eyes: and that's good but i know it won't last. i called my psychiatrist and told him i need to get...
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today i woke up feeling like shit again, as always. so i took some ritalin to get my french homework done. well, nothin' got done. i feel better now (haha, now that i'm on uppers... what a joke ::rolling eyes:
and that's good but i know it won't last. i called my psychiatrist and told him i need to get... Read More
thefreak:
Yay coming to East Coast! We rule...kinda sorta...maybe.
Still pullin' for ya. And Dali's cool, and not just because of the moustache.
-TM
Yay coming to East Coast! We rule...kinda sorta...maybe.
Still pullin' for ya.
And Dali's cool, and not just because of the moustache.
-TM
wow... life sucks right now.
i'm not sure what is going on, but i've been feeling like shit. and it's getting serious. i'm having ideations of bad things and uncontrollably gruesome thoughts. i'm not quite sure what to do. one thing that's killing me inside on a regular basis is the rape that happened to me when i was sixteen. i've never cared before and...
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i'm not sure what is going on, but i've been feeling like shit. and it's getting serious. i'm having ideations of bad things and uncontrollably gruesome thoughts. i'm not quite sure what to do. one thing that's killing me inside on a regular basis is the rape that happened to me when i was sixteen. i've never cared before and...
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thefreak:
OK, now I'm worried to all hell.
*the biggest hug he can possible give in text form*
Please be safe, k?
-TM
OK, now I'm worried to all hell.
*the biggest hug he can possible give in text form*
Please be safe, k?
-TM
thefreak:
I'm serious. Please take care of yourself.
*motherly worrisomeness is coming out*
-TM
*motherly worrisomeness is coming out*
-TM
hi world!!
yesterday was a great day. hunter shot my sg pictures for me and they turned out great! (at least in my opinion...) so yeah, i burned them onto a cd already with all my info (i.e. social security and state id) and packaged it all up and now it's just sitting merily by the door. i can't mail it until late may though...
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yesterday was a great day. hunter shot my sg pictures for me and they turned out great! (at least in my opinion...) so yeah, i burned them onto a cd already with all my info (i.e. social security and state id) and packaged it all up and now it's just sitting merily by the door. i can't mail it until late may though...
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gilda22:
Hi, I hope you don't mind the "journal stalking," but I saw your post in the gay girls group. I am pretty much in the same exact boat and wouldn't mind a chat. My contact info is in my profile, and there is the SG or IRC chat, which I am never in but would go in if someone told me too.
Congrats and good luck with the pics!
Congrats and good luck with the pics!
thefreak:
I'm just hoping you find what makes you happy, hun.
And oh boy, SG pics! I shall be waiting as well.
-TM
I'm just hoping you find what makes you happy, hun.
And oh boy, SG pics! I shall be waiting as well.
-TM
Grrls! All I really want is grrls!
Girls love girls: There is a fine line between hobby and mental illness.
...
Girls love girls: There is a fine line between hobby and mental illness.
...
thefreak:
I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body...that count? 
-TM
-TM
hi world,
i'm finally pretty sure of myself now... i really think i'm a lesbian. i'm not sure, but i mean, i donno... i've been so confused lately. it would be a good thing though. it's really what i seem to almost be yearning for or something. i want to "end up" "that way" like, i don't care what other people think anymore. leaving my...
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i'm finally pretty sure of myself now... i really think i'm a lesbian. i'm not sure, but i mean, i donno... i've been so confused lately. it would be a good thing though. it's really what i seem to almost be yearning for or something. i want to "end up" "that way" like, i don't care what other people think anymore. leaving my...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
lecia:
well, whatever path you choose, i hope things work out alright
thefreak:
Best of luck to you, hun. Hope you can find what makes you happy in the end.
-TM
Hope you can find what makes you happy in the end.
-TM
hey world,
today went pretty well. i got up at a reasonable hour this morning and chilled with hunter and ian for a few hours. then i went downtown to this gay/lesbian/bi/trans place... it was like, a club/center/meeting place type thing. So yeah, picked up some free event flyers and resource info and met a few gay guys, lol. guess i'm gonna go to this...
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today went pretty well. i got up at a reasonable hour this morning and chilled with hunter and ian for a few hours. then i went downtown to this gay/lesbian/bi/trans place... it was like, a club/center/meeting place type thing. So yeah, picked up some free event flyers and resource info and met a few gay guys, lol. guess i'm gonna go to this...
Read More
thefreak:
Can't help but be intrigued by a book called "Cunt"...even if it probably DOES rip me apart for the simple fact I have a penis.
Have you, honestly, sat down w/Hunter and talked things over? It really sounds like that's what you need to do instead of suffering by yourself. Just think about it.
Hope you are well.
-TM
Have you, honestly, sat down w/Hunter and talked things over? It really sounds like that's what you need to do instead of suffering by yourself. Just think about it.
Hope you are well.
-TM
hi world,
not much going on today. i went to sociology... which i hadn't been to in a while and slept thru class, same as always. i mean, not every class, just that one morning class is so hard to get to.
went back to sleep and woke up and ian was here. he's still here now with hunter. i was kinda pissed that they...
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not much going on today. i went to sociology... which i hadn't been to in a while and slept thru class, same as always. i mean, not every class, just that one morning class is so hard to get to.
went back to sleep and woke up and ian was here. he's still here now with hunter. i was kinda pissed that they...
Read More
thefreak:
Ooh, new cute profile pic!
-TM
-TM
THANKZ 4 THE POSITIVE ENERGY> THAT ALWAYS HELPS> AND THANX FOR ADDING ME AS ONE OF YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITES THAT ROCKS.
LOVE
MOLLYDOLLY