hi world!!
yesterday was a great day. hunter shot my sg pictures for me and they turned out great! (at least in my opinion...) so yeah, i burned them onto a cd already with all my info (i.e. social security and state id) and packaged it all up and now it's just sitting merily by the door. i can't mail it until late may though because missy told me to wait three months and "observe" and it won't be three months till then. so yeah, now i'm just sitting on pins and needles wanting the days to go by faster. i really had a fun time getting my pictures taken though which was pretty exhilarating. w00t w00t!
today i've just been chillin and reading Cunt by Inga Muscio and just generally feeling good for a change. tomorrow i have a shitload of homework to do though, which sucks, but oh well... that's the reality of life for me right now.
as for things with hunter... i'm really thinking i need to leave the relationship. last night it was like i forced myself to have sex with him even though i wasn't turned on by him at all and never think of men anymore. i feel bad about it and like, i'm afraid to leave but at the same time, i know nearly bringing myself to tears to try to be "normal" is going to fuck me up badly and he's not going to be too happy about it either. argh, i really need to stop borderlining the issue and just take care of it. just a few days... and i'll build up the courage to talk to him. (i'm kind of a silent and reclusive person... not introverted, but not confrontational either and i definitely have social anxiety :-p
so yeah... guess that's what's new with me currently. fortunately, i'm in a spunky mood today and all seems well. hope it stays that way.
later,
--natalie
yesterday was a great day. hunter shot my sg pictures for me and they turned out great! (at least in my opinion...) so yeah, i burned them onto a cd already with all my info (i.e. social security and state id) and packaged it all up and now it's just sitting merily by the door. i can't mail it until late may though because missy told me to wait three months and "observe" and it won't be three months till then. so yeah, now i'm just sitting on pins and needles wanting the days to go by faster. i really had a fun time getting my pictures taken though which was pretty exhilarating. w00t w00t!
today i've just been chillin and reading Cunt by Inga Muscio and just generally feeling good for a change. tomorrow i have a shitload of homework to do though, which sucks, but oh well... that's the reality of life for me right now.
as for things with hunter... i'm really thinking i need to leave the relationship. last night it was like i forced myself to have sex with him even though i wasn't turned on by him at all and never think of men anymore. i feel bad about it and like, i'm afraid to leave but at the same time, i know nearly bringing myself to tears to try to be "normal" is going to fuck me up badly and he's not going to be too happy about it either. argh, i really need to stop borderlining the issue and just take care of it. just a few days... and i'll build up the courage to talk to him. (i'm kind of a silent and reclusive person... not introverted, but not confrontational either and i definitely have social anxiety :-p
so yeah... guess that's what's new with me currently. fortunately, i'm in a spunky mood today and all seems well. hope it stays that way.
later,
--natalie
Congrats and good luck with the pics!
I'm just hoping you find what makes you happy, hun.
And oh boy, SG pics! I shall be waiting as well.
-TM