I'm finally a driver at my job now. Which is kick ass because I don't have to be in the store the whole night, I get to blast music and sing off key and out of tune to said music, I get reimbursed for my gas, get paid my hourly wage, and receive tips as well. Its honestly almost too awesome. I kind of feel like an asshole having it so good. But i bitched and moaned to have this position and I'm damn happy to have it.
Otherwise, my seemingly impossible and unending task of "fixing" the way I think is starting to see some progress. I'm beginning to come to terms with who I am. Realizing that my drawbacks and flaws are part of my character. The world doesn't make sense to me and its alright. I can't base my decisions and actions upon what other people might think. I just have to fuckin roll with it. Maybe I'll always trivialize the bullshit people care about. And maybe I'll always feel a bit ackward and not quite feel a connection with others. But maybe I just haven't found suitable people yet. My whole point is, I don't have a problem. I simply see the world from a different perspective. There are definitely things I need to work on. But there is no reason to NOT do exactly what I want. And that's where I am at the moment. Looking at my canvas and deciding what I'm going to paint. Metaphorically anyways.
So fuck it. I'll do whatever kind of photography I want. I'll make music, learn how to sing, go for long walks alone in the park, start swimming a lot, walking around town with no destination, attempt making indian food, spend time with my dog, smoke as much weed as I feel like, have a Sierra Nevada crystal wheat on a hot summer day, kick back, put on a Foo Fighters album and just enjoy being a fuckin asshole.
Otherwise, my seemingly impossible and unending task of "fixing" the way I think is starting to see some progress. I'm beginning to come to terms with who I am. Realizing that my drawbacks and flaws are part of my character. The world doesn't make sense to me and its alright. I can't base my decisions and actions upon what other people might think. I just have to fuckin roll with it. Maybe I'll always trivialize the bullshit people care about. And maybe I'll always feel a bit ackward and not quite feel a connection with others. But maybe I just haven't found suitable people yet. My whole point is, I don't have a problem. I simply see the world from a different perspective. There are definitely things I need to work on. But there is no reason to NOT do exactly what I want. And that's where I am at the moment. Looking at my canvas and deciding what I'm going to paint. Metaphorically anyways.
So fuck it. I'll do whatever kind of photography I want. I'll make music, learn how to sing, go for long walks alone in the park, start swimming a lot, walking around town with no destination, attempt making indian food, spend time with my dog, smoke as much weed as I feel like, have a Sierra Nevada crystal wheat on a hot summer day, kick back, put on a Foo Fighters album and just enjoy being a fuckin asshole.