puppetslayer

Yeah. I'm in Chico again. Have been for about a month now. And in that month, all I've done is play GTA IV, Bioshock 2, Fallout 3, and Halo 3. I haven't found a new bed yet. The air mattress I'm currently sleeping on is getting uncomfortable. I still don't have a new job but I'll be out looking for one in a few hours. Am I usually this unproductive/reclusive/shut in/depressed? No. Not usually. I've been single for a few months now and I have yet to adjust to it. I've been in two relationships for the past 6 years. That's a lot of time I've spent thinking for two. A lot of time worrying about how my decisions might affect that other person. Now I have the freedom I've yearned for and I don't know what the hell to do with it. I mean, I have things I want to pursue and accomplish. I'm going to Butte to get a fire science degree and become a firefighter. I still have my camera and I want to continue to be a photographer. And I still want to work on music But that all seems daunting when I don't have much now and I worry about eating healthy and keeping friends and dealing with my shitty depression. I stopped taking my medication months ago and I feel better than I did but I'm back to square one. If only I had a job already, I could smoke. and for good measure: