punkinfanta

took this from my myspace. as kinda promised......






won't you be my....

babe.

the channel 7 news right now they had a bit on charles shaw. and how it won some award. it made me smile a little..

i have a bottle currently sitting across from me with a wine opener stuck in it because i am helpless and don't know how to do it.

the last 4 days of work i have gotten up at 3am. it was killer. but the store looks beautiful. i should take pictures. people should come visit.

thank god i have tomorrow off.

and next weekend is my whole weekend off from work :-)

i took the shower of a lifetime today and it was so splendid.

someone needs to invent paper that is waterproof because my best thoughts come to me while in the tub.

and half the time i don't remember them after.

i don't know how i am going to bring all my thoughts and ideas together. let alone make it cohesive.

myspace sucks and i don't receive messages anymore. i am contemplating just switiching my blogging over to SG because at least the people on there will take the time to comment and give insightful feedback.

i woke up this morning scared. terribly frightened. nightmare. don't really remember much. but falling back to sleep was a challenge. i was truly scared. and i majorly wished someone was there with me. i thought nightmares were for children. but i never had them as a child. things for me always seem to happen backwards.

i had a debate with an employee today over metaphors in songs and how most love songs, although relatable, are well...cheesy. so i have made it a goal to express my love someday in the most beautiful yet non cheesy way. i'm thinking words won't be necessary..?

also today a minor confided in me that his parent's beat him. it was harsh. had to partner with my DM on how to handle that one. i guess for as much i have hated my parents, at least i never was hit or beaten.

i feel so squeaky clean and wonderful from the aforementioned amazing shower. and the door is open and the sun is setting and *gah* i really really love summer nights, they hold so much power and potential. i truly don't want them to go to waste. please don't let them go to waste :-(

reminded me of something i wrote last summer, actually i wrote a TON last summer...but one thing in particular is sticking out...although i was saving it...it's just an exerpt. it'll make a reoccurance.

so i wrote this. after work. after getting off the bus. sun setting. walking home. i recall vermillion being on repeat on my ipod. and i recall sobbing like the big baby i was/am. i sat down outside on the sidewalk. and wrote this. keep in mind this is on my sidekick. and i only wrote myself notes mostly to jar my memory.it's not poetry or anything, just notes. i really thought i would have written this huge thing a long time ago so i figured notes where all i needed.

"7.14

something about this night
something in the air
warm summer nights
when magic happens
first glimpses
first kisses
first touches
memories are made
relationships spark
friendships bloom
it's something in the air
some kind of magic
nights when you don't want to stay inside
nights when you want to lay in the grass
laugh
and talk aimlessly about your hopes and dreams
nights when you can't help but smile
nights with good times and good company
bbq's and pools and lemonade
tank tops and wine and short shorts
flip flops and ponytails
tiki lights
things so very beautiful and carefree
yet as i sit outside basking in its infinite
possibilities and splendor
i cry
it's lovely and i yearn for it
and the idea of having to wait another year for
the chance is saddening
i'm in an odd mood
hopeful, semi-happy, yet still aching
realization and coming to terms
i am dreading going inside
wish i could stay in the warm night forever
of course it must come back to you, but its
nights like these that i know we could have
made so many fond memories
warm nights with hot passion and good music
and grand conversation spent in your car
thoughts and wants dancing crazily in the air around us
i wish i had more stars to look at
i wish i had my star to look at...
its not that i need someone to be happy
at least i hope not
but there is something so unmatched about
the feeling you attain when the person
you care for just glimpses at you...and you just
know. warm summer nights how i have longed
for thee
its nights like these that you see sparkles in peoples eyes
nights like these that you are glad to be alive"

and i will end it on that.