Damn I feel so confused...having a lot of things go through my head right now.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I met this guys named Luke at the plasma donation center where I live. He's not super model hot but I seem to have this huge crush on him. I noticed him when he started working there in December and he would always make a point to process me. He would always chat with me and he would always say bye when I left. I just happen to be friends with Luke's best friend who also works at the plasma center, so I did some facebook stalking and found Luke's page. I added him and we instantly started talking. He took me out to the bar and bought me a few drinks and I started to feel really sick. I felt so bad for leaving the date early and I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested. We texted back and forth and he invited me to go to a rave with him and his friends. I agreed and I had a wonderful time! Me and Luke hit it off really well, may have been the drugs but whatever lol
The only problem is, I'm still with my boyfriend. Luke asked me about him while we were at the rave and I had no idea what to do. We kissed and he said, "you're trouble," I told him that he was trouble then he said, "you're the one with the boyfriend." I just kinda froze then looked away. I was embarrassed and kinda sad at the same time. He let it go for the rest of the night and I ended up going back to his place. We laid in bed and he told me we couldnt do anything because he wanted to be a good boy and I respected that.
Here's the hard part. What the hell do I do?!?! I've been having thought of being single for a couple months now but I love my boyfriend to death. He's my best friend and I dont want to be without him but I really like Luke. I feel so torn. I know that it's going to be really hard to not be with my bf, we live together, we have 3 pets together, we take care of each other. But sometimes I wish I had my own space, my own life, my own decisions. I miss not having to make decisions for more than one person. I miss that feeling I've been getting when Luke texts me or I see him. Those butterflies, the unknown. I feel like everything is the same with my bf. but I know I cant have my cake and eat it too.
This kind of talk really makes me want to cry. I dont know what to do and I hate to just dump on all of you. I dont really have anyone else to confide in that isnt my boyfriends friend or Luke's friend. Fuck My Life.
I met this guys named Luke at the plasma donation center where I live. He's not super model hot but I seem to have this huge crush on him. I noticed him when he started working there in December and he would always make a point to process me. He would always chat with me and he would always say bye when I left. I just happen to be friends with Luke's best friend who also works at the plasma center, so I did some facebook stalking and found Luke's page. I added him and we instantly started talking. He took me out to the bar and bought me a few drinks and I started to feel really sick. I felt so bad for leaving the date early and I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested. We texted back and forth and he invited me to go to a rave with him and his friends. I agreed and I had a wonderful time! Me and Luke hit it off really well, may have been the drugs but whatever lol
The only problem is, I'm still with my boyfriend. Luke asked me about him while we were at the rave and I had no idea what to do. We kissed and he said, "you're trouble," I told him that he was trouble then he said, "you're the one with the boyfriend." I just kinda froze then looked away. I was embarrassed and kinda sad at the same time. He let it go for the rest of the night and I ended up going back to his place. We laid in bed and he told me we couldnt do anything because he wanted to be a good boy and I respected that.
Here's the hard part. What the hell do I do?!?! I've been having thought of being single for a couple months now but I love my boyfriend to death. He's my best friend and I dont want to be without him but I really like Luke. I feel so torn. I know that it's going to be really hard to not be with my bf, we live together, we have 3 pets together, we take care of each other. But sometimes I wish I had my own space, my own life, my own decisions. I miss not having to make decisions for more than one person. I miss that feeling I've been getting when Luke texts me or I see him. Those butterflies, the unknown. I feel like everything is the same with my bf. but I know I cant have my cake and eat it too.
This kind of talk really makes me want to cry. I dont know what to do and I hate to just dump on all of you. I dont really have anyone else to confide in that isnt my boyfriends friend or Luke's friend. Fuck My Life.
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Once you've come to some conclusions, you could consider talking to your BF about having an open relationship. If the idea of him sleeping with other people is ok with you, there's a chance you could have your cake and eat it too.
The best thing you can do either way is be honest with yourself about what you want. Sometimes it isn't clear right away which is why you should take some time apart from Luke.
Once you have a better idea about what you want, be super honest and up front about what your thinking with your BF but remember to think about his feelings. I would ask him if he ever thinks about other girls (of course he does if he's human - everyone does) and if he'd ever consider having an open relationship where you could both see other people.
If he freaks out then maybe it's time to go your separate ways since you've already been thinking about being single. Maybe you should even just get separate places and take a break so you can figure out what you want?
The thing you don't want to do is cheat on him. That's going to poison the relationship whether he finds out or not. Trust me. It's hard at first but you owe it to yourself and eachother to be honest and get out if you're not feeling it anymore.
You're young so now is a great time to take some risks and be on your own if that's what you're feeling. Just remember, honesty will save you both time and heartache. Plus you'll sleep better. It's really the only way to go.
Good luck, beautiful - it'll work out fine. Don't be afraid.