punkdave

I'm going to stop going on about how much i hate christmas. i hate
what christmas has become. I hate the stress associated with it all,
with being thrown in to a fake family situation. this isn't my
family, my family are the people i spend every day with, the people i
go to when I want to share happiness or sadness or any number of
different things. technically i guess my family are the people I'm
with at the moment, my father, my mother etc. but it's becoming more
and more that I don't really know these people.

don't get me wrong, i love my parents and my brother but i don't
honestly know who they are and i don't honestly think they know who i
am. i think in a way I'm scared of revealing who i am to my parents
and brother in case I disappoint them with the decisions I've taken
throughout my life. To anyone else I have no problems telling what
i've done and why, but my parents are different in a weird way.

So - anyway, the upshot of this is that I've enjoyed seeing my dad and
my mother (even though she acted really childishly towards me), I've
even enjoyed seeing my step mother and my two step brothers. BUT - i
would have loved even more than that to have spent christmas with my
real family (Frankie, Lucia, Pete, Tom, Dom, Mike, Alex). I can't
wait to get home and sit in a pub with them all and just chat and feel
at home.

hope you've all had a good one.



M