So - anyway, been pretty down for the last few days...today was pretty fucking bad as it goes.
guess i should share why - well...i don't have any obligation to, just reckon it would do me good to put it down and be done with it.
I'm just coming out of this 4 year relationship, and it's pretty fucking bad - cos after that long, no matter what shit you have been through - you can't help but care. one of my friends told me today that you don't really know someone till you have split up with them. ain't that the fucking truth...
weird thing is that i still love her like mad, but it was me who wanted to end it cos things weren't working out. at 24 i don't want to be going out with someone for the convienence of it, or because of guilt. I should be my own person - hanging with people who make me happy and all that.
anyway - me and the ex bought a house together...(advice : never buy a house with someone..ever...well...unless you are real fucking sure). I've now moved in with a few mates, and it's kinda hard going cos you can't just go from living with someone in a relationship to living with 3 other blokes. there is this massive void that just kinda grows and takes over ever moment that i have to myself. but the other guys are cool - and they seem to understand.
I just got hoje from the pub - it was about 8ish and had just come off the phone to the ex (cos we are still sorting out money and house and shit) and i was in a pretty fucking bad way. phoned up dom (who is like my bro - one of those people you would do anything for without even thinking - and vice versa) - but he was still working, so phoned up Guy - who laughed at me (he didn't actually realise that I was real fucking down and sobbing down the phone to him, guess he though I was taking the piss. me and guy have a bit of a weird relationship - we spend about 90% of the time just calling each other cunts and talking about each others mums..anyway - I'm sure I'll explain more about that later), then Tom phoned and he was like 'you alright dude - you want some company' hell yeah. so he left the club he was at and came home to make sure i was alright.
things got better from then on - a couple more friends came over, Rich offered to take me on a Ket mission - but it was 12ish and i have work tomorrow...another day (never done ket before...so would be cool to try).
so now I'm here - burning a dvd for dom and just about to head off to bed.
todays rating 7 going on 2 then a good 8 to end it off.
i fucking love my friends...
guess i should share why - well...i don't have any obligation to, just reckon it would do me good to put it down and be done with it.
I'm just coming out of this 4 year relationship, and it's pretty fucking bad - cos after that long, no matter what shit you have been through - you can't help but care. one of my friends told me today that you don't really know someone till you have split up with them. ain't that the fucking truth...
weird thing is that i still love her like mad, but it was me who wanted to end it cos things weren't working out. at 24 i don't want to be going out with someone for the convienence of it, or because of guilt. I should be my own person - hanging with people who make me happy and all that.
anyway - me and the ex bought a house together...(advice : never buy a house with someone..ever...well...unless you are real fucking sure). I've now moved in with a few mates, and it's kinda hard going cos you can't just go from living with someone in a relationship to living with 3 other blokes. there is this massive void that just kinda grows and takes over ever moment that i have to myself. but the other guys are cool - and they seem to understand.
I just got hoje from the pub - it was about 8ish and had just come off the phone to the ex (cos we are still sorting out money and house and shit) and i was in a pretty fucking bad way. phoned up dom (who is like my bro - one of those people you would do anything for without even thinking - and vice versa) - but he was still working, so phoned up Guy - who laughed at me (he didn't actually realise that I was real fucking down and sobbing down the phone to him, guess he though I was taking the piss. me and guy have a bit of a weird relationship - we spend about 90% of the time just calling each other cunts and talking about each others mums..anyway - I'm sure I'll explain more about that later), then Tom phoned and he was like 'you alright dude - you want some company' hell yeah. so he left the club he was at and came home to make sure i was alright.
things got better from then on - a couple more friends came over, Rich offered to take me on a Ket mission - but it was 12ish and i have work tomorrow...another day (never done ket before...so would be cool to try).
so now I'm here - burning a dvd for dom and just about to head off to bed.
todays rating 7 going on 2 then a good 8 to end it off.
i fucking love my friends...
itll get better bro. hang in there.