punkagent

I am no farther along than I was in the last post which read "I'm Lost." It couldn't be any closer to the truth.

I will give a brief summary of the events that have recently happened that caused this recent stalemate of my heart and head.

The girl who has been the subject of my last two posts has been becoming ever more complicated. Not only has she said she loved me but she confessed she love someone else, who just happens to be my cousin. Which isn't as weird as it sounds because I have rarely ever talked to said cousin. Anyway he is currently in the Marines and has been for the last 3 or so months. He will be home over Thanksgiving. Which was the subject of conversation between myself and 'girl'. She proclaims that she probably wont see me when he is home because he only has a week home and so on and so forth. I was totally understanding because she loved him before I came along.

I digress; that is not the essence of the problem just a funny side track I thought I would share. Herein lies the problem: Recently I had noticed that our relationship has shifted from blossoming romance to "best friends". I didn't mention anything to her in case I was just imagining it, but my fears were proved after a conversation yesterday with her. She claims that she no longer gets "butterflies" when we're together. I simply cast it aside attributing it to the fact that we are together 24/7 and we simply grew used to each other. But what if that isn't the case. What if the closest thing we could ever be is bestfriends? Before we agreed to pursue this relationship she made me promise to be friends, no matter what happened. I complied. Now that I've fallen so hard for her, it seems impossible to be just friends with her.

So last night I spent the night at her house and she asked me what I was going to do. I replied, "Well there's basically two options." "I could walk away or I can stick around and be best friends." Obviously it isn't going to be that cut and dry but that's the general concept. Either way I'm going to get hurt, well even more hurt than I already am. Right now I am just trying to figure out which is the lesser of two evils. Which will hurt less?

I need a sign.