Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

pumpkineater

[Cleveland] [Chicago] [Brooklyn]

Member Since 2004

Followers 39 Following 424

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Aug 08, 2005

Aug 8, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Eunice once told me when you really love someone so much, you often have unrealistic expectations of/for them. We expect them to know things, do things, say thingsto be supernatural humans because somewhere in our hearts, that is how we see them. Thats why we are more forgiving of our friends and acquaintances - because our expectations for them arent as high. Unfortunately, there seems to be almost no latitude for the ones we love. As anybody who has been in love can tell you, this leads to a destructive and painful and ultimately inevitable end.

Sadly, I do that to the woman I love. In my mind, she lives, eats and sleeps on a pedestal so high that if she only knew of it, she would blush and be dizzy from the height. She is so beautiful and strong in spirit it overpowers my whole being. And yet I hurt her so much, and I am hurt by her so much. Most of the time not even from anything she does mind you, but from what goes on in my inane thoughts. Perceived slights. Unfair and unreasonable expectation. And mostly because I hold her to something that I shouldnt.

Im trying to change that though. I want to tell her how wonderful she is just the way she is. How amazing she is. How perfect and good she really is. How awesome the person she wants to grow and mature into will be. How much I love her. How much I hope that we will grow old together. And sometimes, the words and actions in my head and heart seem to get lost in translation. All I really want to do is make her happy. And for her to be happy. Everything else is bullshit. I should be the most patient and most forgiving, and the most understanding and the most kind to her, above everything/body else.

I should tell her Im sorry in advance for all my stupidity, but I dont because Im so stubborn and prideful. But thats how I feel. Im so lucky to be with her.

Wouldnt you agree?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
marigold:
i'm glad i'm not the only one who feels the pinprick when that bubble of idealism gets nudged. you're only human. don't judge yourself so harshly.
Aug 9, 2005
heatherann007:
I know exactly what you mean. Completely.

Oh. And thank you for your concern. I'm just splendid, really.
Aug 11, 2005

More Blogs

  • 12.22.06
    1

    Friday Dec 22, 2006

    spent last weekend in new orleans for work. i avoided being a touris…
  • 08.14.06
    10

    Monday Aug 14, 2006

    i woke up one day last week and realized i am running a fucking polit…
  • 06.04.06
    2

    Sunday Jun 04, 2006

    Sometimes it rains like sudden sadness I stare up into the web of br…
  • 05.28.06
    1

    Sunday May 28, 2006

    i spent about 10 minutes reading the "missed connections" section of …
  • 05.23.06
    2

    Tuesday May 23, 2006

    if you find yourself reading a stranger's journal, but it consists no…
  • 05.21.06
    4

    Sunday May 21, 2006

    i am watching the count of monte cristo on tv right now...damn, that …
  • 05.18.06
    3

    Friday May 19, 2006

    some thoughts today: david shipler says "the man who washes cars d…
  • 05.11.06
    2

    Thursday May 11, 2006

    "if you give me a fish, you have fed me for a day. if you teach me…
  • 05.07.06
    9

    Sunday May 07, 2006

    It is so hard to hear the words and let it sink in. have you ever go…
  • 05.03.06
    2

    Wednesday May 03, 2006

    US mothers deserve $134,121 in salary By Ellen Wulfhorst NEW YO…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
1
month
16
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,616 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 14,993,814 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,565,284 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo