pumpkineater

It is so hard to hear the words and let it sink in.
have you ever gotten news so horrible that it makes your face red in humiliation
it would almost be better to be in denial - the alternative unbearable.
it broke my heart, which is already fragile.
If I had known then what I know nowwell, you know how that adage goes.
Beautiful angel of death, a porcelain goddess.
Bears love and misery with a grin.
Where to go from here?
Maybe it was not meant to be, maybe it was all just a dream.
Was it a daydream or a nightmare.
When I wake will it be better
If I let you see my affection, will you be indifferent, joyful, in sorrow.
Even the prettiest sunny late spring day youll see how I hide in the ugly shadows.
I cry every time I smile.
If only you could see the deep chasm of sorrow.
Youd cry cry cry,
Watching me try to climb mountains as high as kiliminjaro.
Dont you know, sometimes love is not enough,
To say it, to say I love you seems to be a bluff.
I heard you the first time, I heard you the second and third.
Who will help me mend my heart, help me pick the pieces up
Before all this the absurd reoccurs?