Got a lot done today. Extended our big silver ladder as far as it could. Yep. Leaned it against our mama pecan. Then I baby-stepped my sweaty ass up there to attempt a limb amputation. It didn't work. So we did the only thing two rednecks could do. Get a rope. Get the truck. Pull the sucker down. It worked. We drug it out into the field but we forgot to move the big ladder and it got mauled by that thousand pound limb. I'm just guessing that it weighed a half ton. I didn't lift the big sumbitch. That's for sure.
The well house looks a lot better. We're gonna paint it white with a green roof. The big house has a green roof too. But it's a different green. Being obsessive compulsive this bothers me. A lot. But what the hell. I just wish we could keep it the mottled silver and rust color. I never wanted to paint our tin roof green in the first place. But that was a long time ago and I didn't really get a vote. Dad's got a Napoleon complex. Even though he's taller than I am. Dad called me Solomon today. I don't know if he was joking or not. He usually calls me Gandhi because I refuse to kill off our squirrels and groundhogs. I don't know if Solomon is a step up or down.
Today was my parents' anniversary. 32 years. He was in the Air Force for 30 of those. 34 total years in the military. They're the best. My mom was the daughter of a saintly small-town doctor in Brookhaven, Mississippi. She's sweet as a Magnolia blossom. My dad grew up dirt poor in Corinth, Ms. Alcorn County. All corn, no cotton. They met at a nursing seminar on the gulf coast. She was a nurse. He was driving the bus for Northeast Mississippi Community College. They just happened to meet on the beach one day. The rest is history.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night my older brother was conceived? Just watch Rosemary's Baby.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night I was conceived? My parents walked into the bedroom. They removed their clothes and sat on the side of the bed. Then a stork flew through the window. It touched my dad. Then it touched my mom. And a little under 9 months later, I was born. It wasn't all good news though. We learned that after seeing my dad naked, the stork flew home and put a gun in its mouth.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night my little brother was born? An Orc Warrior and a screeching Night Elf Druid had a romantic dinner by torch light. The Orc Warrior invited the Druid inside to see his mount. It was a misunderstanding. They laughed and then they humped. She shit Sambo out along with a laptop and a dull expression. I've never played warcraft. But it's all he talks about and I'm polite enough to listen.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night my little sister was born? The Mookster! She was an accident. No wait. Gargamel molded her from clay. He wanted to create jealousy and confusion and nausea amongst the Smurfs. She's a little tiny shit but she's an ass kicker.
I've got a busy day tomorrow. I've gotta hit the sack. I haven't worked on my movie in two days and counting. I'd feel like a worthless whoredog if we weren't getting so much work done on the homestead. Gotta go now. byebye
The well house looks a lot better. We're gonna paint it white with a green roof. The big house has a green roof too. But it's a different green. Being obsessive compulsive this bothers me. A lot. But what the hell. I just wish we could keep it the mottled silver and rust color. I never wanted to paint our tin roof green in the first place. But that was a long time ago and I didn't really get a vote. Dad's got a Napoleon complex. Even though he's taller than I am. Dad called me Solomon today. I don't know if he was joking or not. He usually calls me Gandhi because I refuse to kill off our squirrels and groundhogs. I don't know if Solomon is a step up or down.
Today was my parents' anniversary. 32 years. He was in the Air Force for 30 of those. 34 total years in the military. They're the best. My mom was the daughter of a saintly small-town doctor in Brookhaven, Mississippi. She's sweet as a Magnolia blossom. My dad grew up dirt poor in Corinth, Ms. Alcorn County. All corn, no cotton. They met at a nursing seminar on the gulf coast. She was a nurse. He was driving the bus for Northeast Mississippi Community College. They just happened to meet on the beach one day. The rest is history.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night my older brother was conceived? Just watch Rosemary's Baby.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night I was conceived? My parents walked into the bedroom. They removed their clothes and sat on the side of the bed. Then a stork flew through the window. It touched my dad. Then it touched my mom. And a little under 9 months later, I was born. It wasn't all good news though. We learned that after seeing my dad naked, the stork flew home and put a gun in its mouth.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night my little brother was born? An Orc Warrior and a screeching Night Elf Druid had a romantic dinner by torch light. The Orc Warrior invited the Druid inside to see his mount. It was a misunderstanding. They laughed and then they humped. She shit Sambo out along with a laptop and a dull expression. I've never played warcraft. But it's all he talks about and I'm polite enough to listen.
What? Oh. You want to know about the night my little sister was born? The Mookster! She was an accident. No wait. Gargamel molded her from clay. He wanted to create jealousy and confusion and nausea amongst the Smurfs. She's a little tiny shit but she's an ass kicker.
I've got a busy day tomorrow. I've gotta hit the sack. I haven't worked on my movie in two days and counting. I'd feel like a worthless whoredog if we weren't getting so much work done on the homestead. Gotta go now. byebye
the tales of the clan brings a certain movie starring a certain actor to mind....
yours of course is a much happier ending....