pudding

it might have been a little soon for the happy dance. way to go and burst my fucking bubble man. that's the problem with having your hopes up this high, the smallest downer happens and the whole beautiful mess just goes all to hell. so defeated right now. ugh. fuck that and fuck friday and fuck the fact that i'm sure my phone won't ring between now and then. fuck my lack of faith in the system too. i know exactly how this works so i shouldn't be suprised , but i am because of that retarded hope thing that people talk about. i'm going to sleep the day away and pretend like i don't care anymore.

...

so i spoke too soon about speaking too soon, people are weird and can suprise you if you let it fucking happen. life is strange now and only getting stranger.