pudding

today was the first day of therapy and it was good. the lady is really nice but like every good therapy session i left feeling like someone had emotionally beat me all to hell. i experienced another hallmark of a good session, i almost cried, almost. i was supposed to go to a AA meeting tonight but i couldn't find the damn place and was already hesitant to go because i'm not exactly ready to admit that i have a problem. i mean i know i shouldn't drink all the time but i'm not as hardcore about it as some people, i don't start my morning off with shots or anything. at any rate i am supposed to see my new shrink on monday and see the therapist again two times next week. i also found out that my old shrink, dr. prover, has a history of scaring away patients so now i don't feel as bad about switching to a different doctor in the same office. seriously, prover was a dick. i cleaned my room tonight, that was big step. i would type more but my thoughts are all jumbled right now. a complete lack of focus.