pudding

cheap breakfast burritos are so much better in the oven than in the microwave. got off work thirty minutes early, which was pretty badass because thirty minutes in that place lasts forever. one of the cashiers was laughing at me because i was so fucking bored and just couldn't hide it. i wish i liked my job more, maybe then i would actually take a fifteen minute break instead of my extended breaks that i don't feel at all guilty about. tonight i dragged a 15 minute break into thirty minutes but the only manager that noticed was on lunch and wouldn't rat me out. it's nights at work like tonight that really fuck me up because i have to work in the morning and it will be entirely different. i won't be able to get away with anything. i hate that place. second interview at the hermosa beach nail co. is on monday at 2 pm. looking forward to it, but a tiny bit of fear is lurking in my brain as well. double rum and cokes are fueling my mad dash to get drunk. what is it about the inability to see straight that is so damn appealing? got a haircut, not so much a cut as a reshaping of the cut i let go too long before trimmings. the biggest difference can be seen in the back and the sideburns. my right eyelid is still swollen and weird. i minimized the look of my wonky eye with some eyeliner which i have succeeded to rub into nonexistence. awesome. the cats are acting needy, i know the feeling. i'm so whiny as of late. i'm happy and have no reason to be whiny, i'm even looking forward to things and i can't get over the insecure doubting parts of my brain that tell me that nothing will ever pan out like i want it to. ugh. grr. my sexual frustration has had me in the bath the last two nights in a row. not because i am rubbing one out mind you but because i am immersing myself in water hot enough to make me look like a damn lobster. i just don't know what to do with myself most of the time. i'm a restless little bastard but wouldn't have it any other way. there are thing i wish i could say without making an ass of myself.