pudding

the pot roast turned out really good, the meat was super tender. i was shocked. my new shrink is nice, although i was getting irritated when i found out he was running half an hour behind even though i had made a point to be early to fill out paperwork. that always happens. he completely overhauled my medications and even questioned my bipolar diagnosis. this guy means business. so now i'm on cymbalta, provigil, and lamictal. i hate new meds, they always make me sick for the first three days. the cool part is that i have no night meds. he even helped me make na appointment for marriage counseling so that joe and i can get a little perspective and stuff. yeah, and stuff. the big revelation of the day is that i am purposefully trying to make myself unattractive because, well, i'm fucking crazy. the doctor asked me why i had chosen such an extreme look and in response i blurted out, "i don't want to be cute anymore." this process of becoming un-cute has been going on for a while now. it just seems like there is something weak and vulnerable about cute. but then again i am completely out of my fucking mind. i dyed the front of my hair again, but the pink looks more like a purple, should have known. oh well. i am no longer shunning the cat. i still hate him, but we are on speaking terms now. the little goober has been following me around the house all day. why is it that the super cheap brownies that come in the bag are almost always better than the more expensive ones in the box?