pudding

i lose patience with my mental health every so often. i'm in the middle of a breakdown, i knew it was coming, it a weird thing and you can just feel it. i've always wondered how people stay so chill and collected when it's all i can do to sit still and not yell and throw shit most of the time. my head is floating and throbbing all at the same time. i'm going to go see some random shrink tomorrow because mine is on vacation until next wednesday, hopefully they will give me drugs. my classmates ask why i'm gone a lot and i say i'm losing my damn mind. and they think i'm joking but i couldn't be more honest. i'm considering volunteering myself up for temporary committment because i can't take it, daily life is such a pain in the ass and i am desperate to be at aleast kind of normal. i've got no outlet so all this anger and disappointment just build up until i start losing it. i'm tired of feeling like shit all the time. the only thing i know for certain is that i need to get my head screwed back on straight because this just isn't working.