pudding

i've been laughing so hard my face hurts. tonight is one of the best nights i've had since joe left. i see my shrink tomorrow, oh the joy that will be. tonight i have none of myself to give because i am going to be a selfish little brat and milk this feeling as long as it lasts. it's nice when people don't judge you or make you feel inferior. it feels good to laugh and smile, and make goofy ass faces. those parts of me are still inside my head somewhere, before i got all tangled up and self-destructive. i wish i could see more of them. and to think that hours ago i was dead set on spending the evening smashed out of my gourd. what a waste.