pudding

it is beautiful outside tonight. i'm sweating, i feel sick. blue october-hate me, listen to it. good song. just heard it on the radio. the radio is not a good friend. we have a new vocabulary term today children : borderline personality disorder. look that one up and report back to me. i spilled my coke from wendy's on the carpet. i'm tired. everyone is checking in on me to make sure i'm okay. i'm not okay, today was a hard day though i did nothing at all. figure that one out. i just want to be happy but i have these evil little patterns of behavior that i fall into time after time. switched phones with case, he got a razor so i got his flip phone. it was silver but i buffed off to paint with a nail buffer and now it is a soft grey, it's actually kind of pretty. in a very deconstructed way. she never calls me baby. but she did tonight, i worry the hell out of her. i'm not sure if it is entirely warranted, but part of me believes it is. i guess i will go see her tomorrow after work. i don't like spending all this time alone, it sucks. i was productive today. kind of.