pudding

i'm so fucking bored right now, i swear to god i can't stand to be alone for long. i went to walmart with my mom and finished off the things for joe's valentine's day present as well as picking up milk. went to lunch with geoff and his friend matt, it was nice to see geoff again. i could go over there tonight, and i honestly thought about it for two seconds before deciding against it. that is what you get for entertaining a thought. i even labeled the plastic organizer baskets i bought for sorting the mail. sad isn't it? i think so. had dinner with my family, that was good, ate cookies, i love cookies. i hope joe likes his gift, i am lousy when it comes to getting him things. i think he's just too nice to tell me so. different subject. i don't know, i just don't want to be part of any big dramatic event you know, and i don't want it to be taken as something it's not. so here i am. alone. again. fna. i'm terrible at having days off, i don't know what to do with them and end up just wasting them away. and i get shit done, but it never seems to get me anywhere. and why do something (aside from acts of charity and other good selfless things like that) if it doesn't accomplish anything. the laziness has reached my very core. must have. i should be cleaning the house right now, that would tire me out. exasperated, plain and simple. later: so i actually picked up around my room. it looks so much better this way. makes me feel less cluttered mentally when i have a clean room. but i still dont know what the hell to say, so i guess this is goodnight.