pudding

i really don't have anything to bitch about today, it was alright. i feel like i do a lot of bitching, those who read this probably do too. god, how can she be so miserable? i'm not miserable, just neurotic and half crazed. there is a difference. work was fine, made money, cleaned up, went home, standard. took a nap, slept for almost three hours, super sweet. gave in and got tacos, even though i should have by all accounts eaten at home. giving in to the inner demons. its fucking cold in the apartment, the thermostat is set at 75-80. i'm still freezing. climbing the walls, thats what i call it. my room is a mess and the garbage is piling up in the kitchen, no one wants to touch it. wonderful life of sloth. i stand by yesterday's shout out, not that it will do me any good. that's the thing, you try to do the good thing, the right thing, and you still feel bad. but as stated before disappointment kills, so i stand by it, solid. i don't have any shout outs for this evening, i would but any way i could say it would totally give away who i'm talking to and i might as well say it to them directly and where is the fun in all that mess. i'm not as cool as i pretend to be, i get excited easily, i fall apart at a glance. if i seem like a rock i'm not, far from it, i just pretend, and when i can't pretend i break. have to fall to pieces every once and a while, sometimes once a day, depends on what the situation calls for. but i wear it on my sleeve, you can tell when i'm angry. can't be the rock i want to be, more like sand. it's all the same, you know that. but today was a good day, even though i was told i had to be at work at 545 but actually was suposed to come in at 8. i let that one go. threw me off though, all morning. it's how i justify the long nap. the soda cans are stacking up on my desk, the life of a caffine addict, so glamorus. very lavish. the spin is great. i'm going to go loaf about on the couch, because that is the life of a creative mind, it feeds into my artistic sensibilities. yeah, that's it.