pudding

ladies and gentleman, welcome to the final dance number. ..that is right, you guessed it my relationsip with joe has tanked to the point of unresolvability. so the question is what to do now about my living situation, school, ect. i don't know, i do know that i went to warrensburg just to sit in the car in the walgreens parking lot and have a handful of pringles and a mixed berry smoothie. how i cope is so fucking healthy. a friend asked me what my plans for the night were and i said simply try not to die, which was tad on the dramatic side, but that is the way it feels. such is life. but in a way it brings about a fresh start to the new year, if you want to look at shit in the shot glass half full kind of way (the way that actually makes you feel worse in the long run). sigh, what to do when restless, lonely, and too tired to give a fuck about anything. i have to work tomorrow, that will be tons of fun, i can just imagine someone asking for water with lemon and me haveing a nervous breakdown. or it could go the other way and i could be so up (totally overcompensating) that i can barely contain my inappropriate laughter. we shall see. but in the meantime i am going to nurse my ever-present headache and think about an amusing way to relate all this shit to my therapist on the 4th and my shrink on the 19th. oh joy.