pudding

i've spent the majority of the day cleaning. just got back from in and out burger, good god i love their vanilla shakes, i'm not sure how i've lived my life without them. i had to get pretty bitchy on the phone with a few people in order to finally get a shrink appointment. but if you remember i was supposed to have a 72...
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it's early. and i'm awake. this is a problem. there is an upside to all of this, but i don't feel like sharing this morning, believe it or not some things are just dreadfully personal. although when this dreadfully personal thing comes to it's conclusion, i will be more than happy to share it with everyone. and i mean everyone. but that day is not...
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sylvester has taken up residence in my closet. we hung up some of the paintings and shit today, this place looks a little more alive now. i watched the girl that lives down stairs through the window today, she has the cutest pair of leopard print mary janes. i am lusting after them. my anit-eyebrows are transitioning from purple bruises to greenish bruises, they look...
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ah! i don't know what my fucking deal is, i'm so restless. i get the urge to just roll around on the floor for a while. i slathered on some black eyeliner for the effect. i did laundry today, for the first time in five weeks, oh yeah, that's sexy. and classy. i have rediscovered one of my favorite chunky bracelets. so i did get...
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if i was really motivated i would get off my ass and get the tasty bagel and coffee i want. i am currently using all of my motivation to try and find a nail tech program within my current price range. i figure that if i do the nail tech program instead of the cosmetology program ( the nail program is 400 hours, the cosmetology...
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i could ramble about how i spent all day today hoping the ceiling would fall in or a gigantic steamroller would make it's way through my living room and crush me flat. but it all seems a tad bit irrelevant now. i think it is more important to focus on what i've got, and that is the following : i've got the entire night ahead...
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i thought today was going to be one of those happy-type days. i was sadly mistaken. and i'm not going to start running my mouth until i know for sure exactly what is going to happen, but there is a good chance i might not get to go to school and live the dream just yet. and it has me insanely bummed out. i don't...
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i got a couple of anti-eyebrows done today, they are higher up on my face than the original one i had on my right side. they are super cute and i would have picture if our digital camera didn't completely suck ass. they are very swollen and already bruising pretty bad, and i have a meeting with the financial advisor at the beauty school tomorrow...
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i've reached a new level of perversion, that's comforting. a new high/low point. god damn i love not having anyone to talk to. and the people i could talk to all care too much about me to let me do the things i feel i must do to calm myself down, or at least regulate my feelings of impending doom. i'm pretty fucking sure i'm...
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ah yes, that old friend of mine has returned. i was really hoping it would not follow me all the way out here, i had hoped to leave things like that in missouri. but you can't really predict these things, you just have to keep a vigilant watch for the signs. i was awake until 5:30 in the mother-fucking morning the other night, and i...
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this is the first time i have been able to sit in front of my computer in weeks! oh, the pain. the following are some excerpts from my journal to you an idea of how the trip and pro-longed hotel stay effected my fragile little mind.

"this is the kind of place where you would hear the phrase 'honey, water the ficus'."
"kitten died in...
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tomorrow is moving day!