puddincat

Okay.....

I still feel scared like I talked about in my previous entry... but I am somehow a little reassured. Don't ask, I only make sense to myself.

I am just about to give up on being myself at work and being all goofy and cheery... I think no one there really gets me. I mean they're cool and all for the most part- but getting interaction is like pulling teeth- just wanna Talk about life- the importent stuff. I think no one gets my sense of humor- my quiet ways, or my mood swings. thats okay- Maybe they think I'm weird for not having children and all..... I think that alone puts me on the path to isolation in the world of women. I don't have the desire to put children on this planet. I have different wants and needs from life than most women. there are others like me dammit!!! I think I go into further isolation for being so open and secure with sexuality. Yeah.. thats another thing....

Anyways... I've recently found a passion for cooking. I am going to actuallty try to learn how to be a good cook. I'm tired of just knowing how to make pasta. so I went on Ebay and purchased books, recipes and a culinary dictionary to help me out when watching the food network (my new favorite channel) I can't wait to get started.
My school is going well- test coming up soon. I still like it. still doing good. YAY!

I've gained alot of inner peace in the past few weeks. The biggest portion after my wisdom tooth was removed Tuesday...Such relief. I feel a little scared about the future..... but I can only be the best girl I can be and do my best. I can't be resposible for everything. Thats what I need to tell myself. So I do.
Hey!! check this out:


I'm such a dork I think thats cool.
I wish I could do stuff like that. Chicks with chainsaws are hot

I want to give myself the present of some new tattoos soooooo bad.
I want a hello kitty one... a girly one. I NEED one!!
hahahhahahahahhahaha..

I do dammit.