puddincat

DAMN I FRIGGIN LOVE HANSON!

Josh does have huge ears

I only called off work twice when I needed to get off. Both for concerts. One was for My Chemical Romance and the other was for Something Corporate. I got the lead singers autograph at the second one and he said he liked my shirt.
Once I said my car broke down and I couldn't come in because I couldn't get a ride.

I'm cleaning. There is a line from a Pygmy Love Circus song that goes "I been so tired, of livin like an animal.". I am tired of living like an animal. So I'm cleaning. Cleaning my room, cleaning the turtle tank, cleaning the car, cleaning the bathroom, hopefully cleaning my life(if such a thing can be done). In some ways I'm really good at cleaning but in others, I'm terrible at it. I'm really good at it because once I start, I just keep going and going and going until the cleanings done. I'm terrible at it because once I find something that catches my interest, I get distracted by it and investigate. I mean when you dig something out from under a pile of stuff and you haven't seen it for a couple of YEARS, well, it's worth a little look-see right? I always think so.
So I'm cleaning.
The thing that I found that piqued my interest today is old writing. Buried beneath the trash and mail that is on my desk, I found a few crinkled and stained pages of manuscript. I hadn't even LOOKED at my typewriter, let alone used it in God only knew how long so when I found this relic from a different time when I had different passions, I sat down and started reading.
Going back and reading your own writing after a couple of years is an odd sensation. To me, it was like reading a favorite story or book after a really long time. It was familiar but there were still some parts that I had forgotten about and jumped out to surprise me. The main thing that struck me about it was that the story was a genuinely good story. It was just first draft manuscript so there were plenty of things that needed to be gone over and redone, but other than that it was actually a good piece of writing. It reminded me of a vintage car that has been sitting in a garage, waiting for someone to wash it wax and really bring out it's natural beauty.
I got to the end of the manuscript but not to the end of the story. There was so much to it that I had left undone. I could still see all the things that were going to happen. The grotesque sneer of recognition on the other readers face when he sees them in the car, the chase through the downtown market, the ending that some would call bitter and some would call sweet. If those things were still in my brain they could still come out of my fingers right? If I once again found myself behind the typewriter, nursing a cup of coffee and blocking out the outside world with a pair of headphones and a couple of CDs, would I find my story unfolding again? I think that maybe the answer is yes. I think that it would be easy for me to slip back into those worlds, the one where a lonely Reader falls in love with longing and innocent man, the one where Eric Kroll is slowly but surely being poisoned by the power he has found in his new journal. Maybe even find myself wandering around in new worlds, ones that never found a place on paper but have large, roomy apartments in my head.
I think of all these things. But there is still Otto's tank to clean, there is still more bugs in the website to correct. There are shows to organize and I could stand to spend some time with my drumsticks on a practice pad. In the end I put the manuscript away where I won't find it and be tempted to fall into the other worlds again(but at least not in the trash, so I suppose there is always hope).
And so I'm cleaning.