puddincat

Despite whats going on in my fucked up head.. I shall keep being happy. I am, theres just like this heartbreak underneath.
Sometimes just changing the subject, your habittat, or whatever helps to gain control of emotions that seem to creep up and take control of you. Sometimes you need to just go and let the shitty be ok and focus on what makes you smile. Yeah you can still feel that heartbreak and drama building up underneath and it makes you have a lump in your throat that chokes you and next thign you know your fighting off tears, Yeah you'll still feel it. but you'll keep perspective on life and see that the good walks hand in hand with the fucked up horrible side of things. Even though there is something you love, something that makes your heart smile....with it brings feelings of fear, sadness, Being vulnerable .. etc...
I think when you see that you can deal better with the crushing blows to your soul. I have never felt more human in my life.