pubert

Fuck it! I give up. Hehh, i'm doing what everyone insists that I do. Walk away gracefully. Here I am, i'm doing it. Look at me. I'm....I'm really gonna forget about her and move on. Movie stub from our first date....hehh (pause). Ok thats gone. Picture of your daughter....(holds it for a minute)... can't bring myself to tear this one up. Hold on. Ok burried...
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"chris, your not that hard to figure out." THats a pretty accurate quote. How is it i've been apart from someone longer than when i was with them, and yet still have feelings? How is it i'm unable disassosiate myself from those feelings? Why is it every fucking detail and intangent molocule floating around this town has her finger prints all over it?

Thank god...
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The emotional train wreck i've become has lead to my medication not only being increased, but acting a qusi methadone. I'm doing this cold turkey all of a sudden but i want to feel healthy again. If i can do this than enlisting shouldn't be to hard, getting through shouldn't be to hard, but what i'm planing next nothing can prepare me for. I've tossed...
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Happy Halloween Kid-O you got court. Eh i don't care throw the book at me wisconsin i've got nothing left to lose.

*Sigh* court tommorow morning. Why i am so preocupied with other things! Taking some shit out of my apartment back to michigan. Happy halloween kid you got court to look forward too.

Our show was a disaster. A brilliant sparkling iridesnant disaster. I forgot lyrics, took off clothes, told terrible jokes, and people ate it up. Fucking little kids. The people we invited who showed up came to see us and left right after words, but not before telling us how much they liked us. One girl invited us todo a house party in november for when...
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Its quater to 3, I'm jittery and hearts twisting in knots and my stomach is bloated saturated in disgust and self loathing. Amidst the swirl of thoughts and head trauma i keep asking myself the same questions. Did she mean what she said? Am I going about this the right way? How is it I can love someone, enough to do whatever they ask of...
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The dreams get wierder. I liked this whole thing a lot better when it all began and the amount of drugs i was doing killed my ability to dream. Now i've been sober for a whlie and it just keeps getting wierder and wierder. MY shows tommorow night at the M.A.C. (Marshall Activity Center). Great screaming at a buncha 16 to 15 yearolds costumes, this...
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So i've been giving a lot of thought to a lot of things. A lot of them are mostly the retorical questions someone asks only of themselves in time of great confussion. For instance, where am I going? What purpose am I serving? Will this pass? Why do I feel so imcomplete? Why does it seem when you want something you can't have, you want...
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what a wierd and insightful day this is shaping up to be.