I miss her soooo much...it hurts. But than again im the reason she's gone now....i don't know what sucks worse being the cause of her absense, or her absense.
Than again this could all be some plot that i've played right into in effort to see to it that i'm incarserated. I don't have self controll when it comes to her, i spent all day staring at my cell phone debating weather or not i should just call her, i called her once and no answer (intentional or unintentional), than after reading a journal post later that day after vowing to myself not to look...i looked.
In response i texted her again (over doing it again with style). I hate lawyers, i hate the courts, i hate the person responsible for this mess (ME), i hate being states away, i hate what i've become in her absense, i hate the 20 to 30 people who call me daily (on the house phone no less) looking for an expanded consiousness, and i hate battle creek but thats nothing new.
I do however like the muse her ghost has become. Creativity and michief are at an all time high. Wrote a shit house of poetry, 2 songs, 3 incomplete songs, a short story involving vampires, a 10minute play. Oh and on the televsion show "joey" spin off of friends, joey spanked a kid! IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I asked my dad if we could sue for emotional damages...he said no.
And because i know your reading this....the smear campagin is not something i condone, my disaproval of the tatic was expressed shortly before the lawyers informed me i will no longer be aloud to speak and or testify in court! From what i gathered, depending how it goes, this can not, repeat can not open the flood gates for prosacution on your behalf. And if you are trying to get me in trouble, why? I mean for christ sakes i'm the one screaming send me to prison.
All i want is the felony charges droped, than i can enlist send her half my check (bf or no bf she still gets it) get an education, sober up, and maybe one day walk back into her life and ask if she still needs saving, or has room in her 100 acre (oh now i spell it right) woods for christopher robin.
Than again this could all be some plot that i've played right into in effort to see to it that i'm incarserated. I don't have self controll when it comes to her, i spent all day staring at my cell phone debating weather or not i should just call her, i called her once and no answer (intentional or unintentional), than after reading a journal post later that day after vowing to myself not to look...i looked.
In response i texted her again (over doing it again with style). I hate lawyers, i hate the courts, i hate the person responsible for this mess (ME), i hate being states away, i hate what i've become in her absense, i hate the 20 to 30 people who call me daily (on the house phone no less) looking for an expanded consiousness, and i hate battle creek but thats nothing new.
I do however like the muse her ghost has become. Creativity and michief are at an all time high. Wrote a shit house of poetry, 2 songs, 3 incomplete songs, a short story involving vampires, a 10minute play. Oh and on the televsion show "joey" spin off of friends, joey spanked a kid! IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I asked my dad if we could sue for emotional damages...he said no.
And because i know your reading this....the smear campagin is not something i condone, my disaproval of the tatic was expressed shortly before the lawyers informed me i will no longer be aloud to speak and or testify in court! From what i gathered, depending how it goes, this can not, repeat can not open the flood gates for prosacution on your behalf. And if you are trying to get me in trouble, why? I mean for christ sakes i'm the one screaming send me to prison.
All i want is the felony charges droped, than i can enlist send her half my check (bf or no bf she still gets it) get an education, sober up, and maybe one day walk back into her life and ask if she still needs saving, or has room in her 100 acre (oh now i spell it right) woods for christopher robin.