Well i'm kinda pissed about the arrangements thus far. First off i hate funerals, i think they are passe. I mean when someone passes rather than mourn them...and have this dreary cry on a solider session shouldn't you rather celebrate there life? I mean death is inevitable one way or another (unless your me it seems) so in that reguard why does it always catch people off guard? like oh my god how can this happen? For christ sakes my great grandma was 98 years old, and has been a widow sense 1964. Thats a long life, and a long time to be alone. Second with all thats going down in my life and growing rift and tension my legal dilema has created between family members, its not going to be a memorial, its going to be a cross examination of me. Yeah i'm being selfish here, but i'm not the one playing telephone convoluting the story of what actully happend, and turning it into "chris molested a child!" or my favorite variation which i've heard thus far "chris got high on coke again one night and beat up on his gf's kid, who sense shes 21 unmarried and with a child must be scum too" neither of which are the case, both of which are contradictory to the police reports, and both disgust me to no end. But thats the gossip i live with.
I've known about the alogations against me going around my back and i was like fuck it, there my family and i hate these people anyway so let them get there laughs and over exaderations in. I kinda figured i'd never see these people again in my natral life so it didn't really matter, boy was i wrong. I mean i'm all about going to the funeral, that part doesn't bother me as much i profess to hate funerals, its how you show respect to that persons life and would brake my great gma's heart if she knew I wasn't there. Its going to after party shin-dig that gets me. Thats where cross examination and accusations will fly.
Personally, i think in some respect what i did was rather noble. I mean little girl with no dad, boy wants to drop everything he has to fill that gap. I'd have married her mother (and for whatever reason, call it love, call me crazy, or call me hopless i still do...and oddly enough my mother wants me to propose A.S.A.P.) The mom got me to toss around the idea of quiting smoking which so far no one has ever been able todo. Ok what i did was wrong, i admit that, and ever sense i saw the oh so terrible bruises... copulated with my fathers shawdow consuming me made say to myself NEVER AGAIN. But now things have just gottten hoplessly out of controll. Yeah i was to hard on eve, yeah cracking jokes to ease the tension of the situation by far not the smartest thing i've ever done. But personally by prosacuting me, and harassing the mother, they made the situation bad to worse in record time. Ok i'm getting ahead of myself here. Point is this, not a lot of guys at 21 say i've found someone i could spend the rest of my life, or my say "i want to be a father, and a good one at that" so in that reguard (again could be lust, love, or again call me crazy) i'd say i did a pretty noble gesture. So nay say me all you want. Nay say the unwed mother (which is not by choice)...but fuck you if your just now jumping on the "i hate chris and his parents band wagon."
P.S. I haven't said anythign yet, but the idea of sleeping pills makes me so uneasy. I can name 100 alternitives that are less destructive and less addictive. The first 50 consisit of different spooning posistions with yours truly. Than 48 of which are different books i could narate out loud.. The final 2 are about warm ovaltine and sweet lady mary jane
I've known about the alogations against me going around my back and i was like fuck it, there my family and i hate these people anyway so let them get there laughs and over exaderations in. I kinda figured i'd never see these people again in my natral life so it didn't really matter, boy was i wrong. I mean i'm all about going to the funeral, that part doesn't bother me as much i profess to hate funerals, its how you show respect to that persons life and would brake my great gma's heart if she knew I wasn't there. Its going to after party shin-dig that gets me. Thats where cross examination and accusations will fly.
Personally, i think in some respect what i did was rather noble. I mean little girl with no dad, boy wants to drop everything he has to fill that gap. I'd have married her mother (and for whatever reason, call it love, call me crazy, or call me hopless i still do...and oddly enough my mother wants me to propose A.S.A.P.) The mom got me to toss around the idea of quiting smoking which so far no one has ever been able todo. Ok what i did was wrong, i admit that, and ever sense i saw the oh so terrible bruises... copulated with my fathers shawdow consuming me made say to myself NEVER AGAIN. But now things have just gottten hoplessly out of controll. Yeah i was to hard on eve, yeah cracking jokes to ease the tension of the situation by far not the smartest thing i've ever done. But personally by prosacuting me, and harassing the mother, they made the situation bad to worse in record time. Ok i'm getting ahead of myself here. Point is this, not a lot of guys at 21 say i've found someone i could spend the rest of my life, or my say "i want to be a father, and a good one at that" so in that reguard (again could be lust, love, or again call me crazy) i'd say i did a pretty noble gesture. So nay say me all you want. Nay say the unwed mother (which is not by choice)...but fuck you if your just now jumping on the "i hate chris and his parents band wagon."
P.S. I haven't said anythign yet, but the idea of sleeping pills makes me so uneasy. I can name 100 alternitives that are less destructive and less addictive. The first 50 consisit of different spooning posistions with yours truly. Than 48 of which are different books i could narate out loud.. The final 2 are about warm ovaltine and sweet lady mary jane
