pubert

Ok where as before it was simply speculation now its offical. This shits going to continue through march. My life will offically have been paused for roughly 6 rotten months. I can't wait that long. I'm sorry. I just can't.

I'm sorry.

I hope to god this causes brain damage

Thats it, i'm going to the hardware store and buying a thing of ehter and a couple of rags. Brain won't stop thinking, so we'll cut the oxygen to the brain off. How do you think that mr. cluster of electrons and nerves.

"I can't breathe without you!" Translation. Don't hurt yourself cause i'd feel guilty. Its selfish for me to pull on the stutures of an old wound. But still i hate being patronized. Hehh how can i be so stupid. Story of my life. People only care when they think they can gain the satisfaction of making a superficial difference in your life. And here i...
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Hehh what do i want for christmas this year? 1 brand new messa boogie half stack? Or a brand new accostic? The only item i want for sure this year (god i love being the only child at christmas time) is Dragon Quest VIII. I mean guess it doesn't matter, cause my legal troubles hopefully go behind me on the 20th. And after that i'm...
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I don't want to give anyone the wrong inpression. Let me clear something up that may have been a subject of confusion for the lot of you who can't hear my sub-dialouge in between the text of these pathetic little cries for help. I am not, repeat not joing the military for any of the following reasons.

1) to prove my mortality, or imortality
2)...
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This saturday celebrates the first anual all cook athon. Rob's coming over for breakfast and i'm making a feast. We'll be smoking chornic all day. Talks of rolling, its up in the air for now.

I think I am going to mail that letter. I dunno yet. But i want to.

I want release but not redemption. It feels like i'm traped on a glass elevator plumiting into dantes inferno. I'm a god damned mess of guilt and greed. I hold in my hands a letter i wrote, and i'm debating weather or not i should send it still. I figure if i drop a pirated copy of the latest harry potter i'll get some brownie...
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Eh... i give up. I won't be punished for my sins. I won't be forgiven either. So clean slate move on. Join the marines, after 2 years of faithfull service i shall recieve an honorable discharge for something. Than 4 years in the peace core. Than after that i take my G.I. bill go back to school. And begin a carear in politcal science. I...
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December should be more fun than this!

As the day draws closer and closer to where i can finally put this shit behind me and move on...i'm stuck at one constant question. WHAT THE FUCK?

Me....military? Huh...when the fuck did I start talking like this? I mean my own prespective aside for right now, i'm the one person they told "no matter what road you go down in life, stay off the...
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You know whats really a lost art form, and in a lot of ways I hold email responsible for this, letter writing. I think some of the most eliquacious displays of the human language are found in the long lost forum of letter writng.
Shrinks have this funny little excersise where you write a letter to someone and don't send it. Well I wrote a...
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