pubert

Oh god my own parents don't even want to see me. I can't go home for the weekend. I don't want to stay here. I had everything for a minute while i was here, the girl the kid, the shitty job. Now i've got no girl, can't ever go near the baby for the rest of my life, and an even shitter job that comes...
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I think after my court thing on friday, i'm gonna grab a train back to bc for a minute and figure somethings out. NO job, no money, and the possibility of jail looming over me isn't helping.

Oh my god it rains so it certainly must poor, or at least thats the way it seems as of late. So i'm at work for all of 5 minutes when they inform me my services will no longer be needed. ALthough i'm not fired, cause they still need me to bus that means i'm getting a huge pay dock. Also means i'll have less...
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Man all this free time has made me over productive. I go into work early i stay later. Sense this whole thing began i put down 3 video games that took approximately 36-12hours a piece. I've read 4 books. I've read 3 huge bound volumes of comic books. And my appartment is always clean accept for right now, but will probly be cleaned either tonight...
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Man 3.30$ a gallon, natral disasters, my going to jail for child abuse...all signs of the coming rapture. Well at the way things are going i think it'll be an inprovement. I have no money i'm almost outta smokes i got no gas, and i got to find a way to a public defenders office.

I may be ice skating home hell froze over labor...
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Well so far so good...depending on a certain someones wishes i may get the no contact thing repealled. Meaning...reguardless of where me and the mom stand i can see the little girl again. As for the return of hustler chris....he's dead. He died in chicago 2 years ago. I don't htink he's coming back. However a long forgotten aspect of my life is returning, sobrity....
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I said i was gonna go sober. I said i was gonna turn over a new leaf. Than i walked ass backwards into a green connection. Due to current dry spells around the city and the amount of busts that have incured i see no other choice but to reserect hustler chris.

3 miles 26minutes... getting back down there. 2 years ago 3 miles too...
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God...i really hope shes not carrying my bastard love child...although i doubt they'd throw me in jail then!

This is all my fault. Things are spinning rapidly more and more out of controll. And just on the outskirts of the passing shit storm miles away from the eye I stand with my hands over my head in typical duck and cover fashion. I never wanted to hurt amanda. And most of all the one thing i was assured of in our entire relationship...
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Man i look like hell. My pupils are pinpricks as opposed to yesterday when they grew into flying sausers. The translusent boundries between this world and the spiritual we're blured. In the coke like rush of ephoria in a head filled with disossiates stubling accross the long forgotten peers that cruble into the lake, knees knobby from all that pollution in the 50's trying my...
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After a lot of soul searching...i have been found. I need a shower now. More to come on the revelations of the past two of days of the bizare and out of control

go airforce