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pubba

anywhere pa

Member Since 2011

Followers 2 Following 3

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Thursday Jan 20, 2011

Jan 19, 2011
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some writing...

so philly didnt have much of a fall this year and it really kinda fucks up my winter. going from it being hot to cold with no in-between somehow off sets me in a way i didnt realize. although the weather is not the only thing this october that went from hot to cold. right before holloween my girl left me, up and left, telling me shes sorry but shes not happy. no real reason, but someone told me it was another guy. it was and he looked a great deal like me, but he wasnt me. about two months later they started taking a break.

she still wants to be friends and hang out, and i still care about her, so why not. we hung out tonight, she was drunk. she always liked me best when she was drunk. even if we had been in a room full of men, shed always pick me. we sat in a both at a dark bar, wood paneling half way up the walls and mirrors to the ceiling. red pleather stools and you could smoke till your lungs dried up.

i said i liked her ring. it was a small pink rose, maybe porcelain but im sure it was only some acrylic. set onto a brass ring that forked off when it wrapped around her finger to meet the rose. she looked away, then back at me with an odd glare in her eyes. i asked her where she got it. she propositioned me, a hit of my cigarette for the answer. reaching for the smoke she said, the punk rock flea market. she left it at that, but i knew she got it while she was with the man she left me for.

she reached across the table feeling my beard and rubbing my balding head. telling me i was cuter then i could imagine. kissing my fingers and rubbing my arm she told me we were no longer together because i was too good for her. i shook my head and said i would never give up on her. she said she knew and kissed my hand again. later on she leaned over and kissed my mouth.

i walked her to the bus stop, we were a block away when we saw the bus pull off. i was never so happy to miss a bus. it felt like the first day we hung out, same bar and the same bus stop. i wrapped my arms around her and waited for the next bus. she told me i didnt have to wait and asked how i was getting home. i told her i was going to see her all the way to the bus. it came; she kissed me, pulled away and came back twice more. then turned away and got on. i lit a cigarette and then looked up at the bus. she found a seat and settled her things. she looked out the window with smile and a wave. i walked the mile and a half home.

what am i doing?

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