psynapse

have you ever been invited to do something that you really wanted to do, but you refused anyway? something inside you just wouldn't let you join in with other people who are no doubt having fun, and care enough about you to want to include you? you just push the urge to say, "yes, i'd love to go, that'd be fun, we can all hang out and have a good time together" down where you hope you won't hear it echoing in your mind the rest of the night as you sit in your room alone, regretting what you have done, but knowing that if you had it to do over again, you would do the same thing. what is that barrier called that keeps me from proper interaction with other people, and what caused it? is it something i should try to correct, or just accept it as "the way i am"?

the current: electric wizard's "dopethrone".