psynapse

i know i haven't written on here in a long time. i'm sure no one cares. well, here's a little update for the maybe two people that do:

my friends have convinced me to finally leave my house, and go out to the bar with them on a regular basis (read: every day). this is a lot more drinking than i am used to, and i have been throwing up also on a regular basis (read: every day). so that kind of sucks. also, i met a girl there that i am really into. and i will say no more on that subject. you can go back and reread any journal i've ever written if you really want to know my feelings on falling for girls. other than that, i have just been working and becoming more and more obsessed with hold 'em poker. my new dream is to compete in the world series of poker. (pretty soon you will find this dream on the scrap heap of wasted dreams, along with the radio show i was going to have, the movie script i was going to write, the life size collage i was making, the guitar i was going to buy, the record store i was going to open, the darkroom i was going to set up in my bathroom, and my hockey skates and stick).

also, now that it is the year of the monkey, i think i'm going to be in for a good year. but then, i guess i will have to make it good, right? not just sit here and hope that good things start happening to me out of the blue. a curious expression i used to hear all the time was "god helps those that help themselves". which, you know, seems nice and all, but shouldn't god be helping those that CAN'T help themselves? i wonder at what point have i helped myself enough that gods help will start to kick in?