i just don't care. there is nothing for me, nor do i deserve anything. i want to lie down and go to sleep. i want to forget that i ever knew anyone. i want to forget her name. i want to sleep in a cold, dark, empty room, and have cold, dark, empty dreams. i don't want this aching anymore. i want numbness and no memories. i don't want to have to wake up in the mornings. i don't want to feel this way anymore. i want to be closed. as much as i think i love you, i never want to see you again. i don't want to exist.