i am so lonely. i've gotten to the point where i'm starting to question if maybe, subconciously, i enjoy being alone. now that i've met a girl who is everything i look for, and i know there is no hope of anything developing, it's like giant shakers of salt being poured directly onto my heart...one big open wound. most people would say (i think) that going out on dates and hanging out with girls that are amazingly interesting, beautiful and fun to be around would make a lonely person happy. but for me, this is just not the case. any sort of event like that only serves to highlight the dull, throbbing pain of being alone all the time. as evidenced by my near-inability to get out of bed all day today, and the tears that have been on the verge of spilling out of my eyes whenever i think of her face. i wrote a couple days ago in this very journal about how i would like to die on my birthday. i have changed my mind and would like to die right now, symmetry be damned.
More Blogs
-
0
Wednesday Sep 03, 2003
i'm sick. i want to lay down. or is it lie down? lay is for people… -
1
Thursday Aug 28, 2003
*news item* this is kind of personal, so you may want to sheild your… -
0
Wednesday Aug 27, 2003
the blood is oozing from my chest again. like the guppy i am, i bit … -
0
Monday Aug 04, 2003
i mean, seriously, what was i thinking? i don't need to have you as … -
1
Saturday Aug 02, 2003
i want to lie in a field of brightly colored comforters. i want to r… -
1
Monday Jul 28, 2003
what is with you girls? teasing and tempting me the way that you do?… -
1
Tuesday Jul 22, 2003
just to hold it in my hands for like, two seconds. those frantic mom… -
1
Saturday Jul 19, 2003
i want to split myself open from my chin down to my belly button. i … -
0
Tuesday Jul 15, 2003
"where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves his broomstick arm… -
0
Tuesday Jul 15, 2003
i wish they had a little icon of a guy yawning. that's how i feel ri…