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psynapse

fairfax, va

Member Since 2002

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Sunday Sep 28, 2003

Sep 28, 2003
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i am so lonely. i've gotten to the point where i'm starting to question if maybe, subconciously, i enjoy being alone. now that i've met a girl who is everything i look for, and i know there is no hope of anything developing, it's like giant shakers of salt being poured directly onto my heart...one big open wound. most people would say (i think) that going out on dates and hanging out with girls that are amazingly interesting, beautiful and fun to be around would make a lonely person happy. but for me, this is just not the case. any sort of event like that only serves to highlight the dull, throbbing pain of being alone all the time. as evidenced by my near-inability to get out of bed all day today, and the tears that have been on the verge of spilling out of my eyes whenever i think of her face. i wrote a couple days ago in this very journal about how i would like to die on my birthday. i have changed my mind and would like to die right now, symmetry be damned.

More Blogs

  • 09.21.03
    0

    Sunday Sep 21, 2003

    someone right now is looking directly at the words that i just typed.…
  • 09.17.03
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    Wednesday Sep 17, 2003

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  • 09.16.03
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    Tuesday Sep 16, 2003

    holy shit! hurricane's a-comin!!! everyone, rush out to your local …
  • 09.15.03
    0

    Monday Sep 15, 2003

    are you ever about to do something and you think, "i really shouldn't…
  • 09.14.03
    0

    Sunday Sep 14, 2003

    dear diary, today i got really drunk at like 1pm. i went to towe…
  • 09.12.03
    0

    Friday Sep 12, 2003

    it rained all day today. i heard its supposed to continue that way u…
  • 09.10.03
    2

    Wednesday Sep 10, 2003

    these journals are so god damn stupid. i say the same damn thing eve…
  • 09.06.03
    0

    Saturday Sep 06, 2003

    random movie scene of the day: from "a bronx tale" where chaz palm…
  • 09.05.03
    2

    Friday Sep 05, 2003

    today was one of the nicest, most beautiful days (weather-wise) that …
  • 09.04.03
    0

    Thursday Sep 04, 2003

    you are like the flame i hold close to my forearm. the pain is becom…

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