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psynapse

fairfax, va

Member Since 2002

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Thursday Jun 19, 2003

Jun 19, 2003
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last night something happened.

i am the kind of person who has only one really really good friend at a time. after awhile, for whatever reason, we either drift apart, or have a huge fight, after which i am unable to reconcile with that person.

a couple months ago, i realized that my friend was taking advantage of me. not paying back borrowed money, asking to borrow cds and dvds and keeping them even after i ask for them back, ignoring me in group settings, etc. he didn't mistake my kindness for weakness, he recognized my weakness for what it was, and exploited it.

maybe i'm too clingy and over-emotional about these type of things, but i saw it as a direct insult to me.

i have not hung out with him (or anyone else) for the past six months or so, and not even talked to him for nearly the past three.

so last night he called me.

i did not answer the phone.

he called again and again, 5 times total, and left a message for me to call him back.

i did not call him back.

here's the question:

am i being an over-sensitive wimp and reading WAY too much into the whole thing?
or, am i doing the right thing by not allowing myself to get drawn into a destructive "friendship"?



*currently playing in the background: dillinger escape plan w/ mike patton*
ilcapitano:
Don't you just LOVE the random journal feature on the Hookups page????

As for your dilemma, I would have to say that it is a matter of scale. Was this dude being flaky (i.e he owes you $5 and has 2 of your CD's and sort of ignored you at that one party) or a true jerk( i.e he owes you lots of $$, has all your CD's that begin with P AND never acknowledges your existance in public.)

If it is the former, than I would say that you are being WAY over-sensitive. The latter instance proves this guy is not the best person on Earth but still may warrant forgiveness. I say return his call (he did call 5 times after all) and explain the situation to him. If he gets manipulative or defensive, drop him and make a new buiddy. We all need friends, after all.
Jun 19, 2003
rickroyal:
I think relationships (whether they're simply friendships or something more) should always be predicated on honesty. So, I probably would've had a discussion with my friend six months ago if that was when I felt he was starting to exploit my friendship. Perhaps he didn't know he was being exploitive, or, if he did, it would've been a perfect time to either end the friendship or redeem the mistake.
Jun 19, 2003

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