today was one of the nicest, most beautiful days (weather-wise) that i can remember living through. and being routinely chewed out at work basically ruined it for me. just being at work in the first place was bad enough. i am *this* close to quitting. like...very close. i tried to think of a witty analogy just then, but i couldn't. suffice it to say i...
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you are like the flame i hold close to my forearm. the pain is becoming almost too much too bear, yet i do not flinch. you are like the first thick, cold, wet drops of concrete that are poured into the tiny hole where i live. in slowly and calmly inhale and exhale, as the gray mass rises towards my head like quicksand in reverse....
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i'm sick. i want to lay down. or is it lie down? lay is for people, lie is for objects? the other way around? who knows. i got to leave work early today. i think i'll stay home tomorrow too. i'd almost rather be healthy and have to work than being sick but getting to stay home. it's close though, staying home is always good....
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*news item* this is kind of personal, so you may want to sheild your eyes...
my mom runs 3 miles every day to stay in shape, and has for the past 3 or 4 months. yesterday, she (and i) found out that she has a blood clot in her leg. basically, she could have had a stroke at any moment. she still may. i just...
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my mom runs 3 miles every day to stay in shape, and has for the past 3 or 4 months. yesterday, she (and i) found out that she has a blood clot in her leg. basically, she could have had a stroke at any moment. she still may. i just...
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consuela:
yikes. you have my best wishes.
birth control gives so many women blood clots, although i dont know if thats what hers are from, it just reminds me of it because the leg clots are dead givaway that bc is what their from. but its kinda sad that we risk that for bad sex.
i love your "fave band" list. and mark ryden rocks too.
birth control gives so many women blood clots, although i dont know if thats what hers are from, it just reminds me of it because the leg clots are dead givaway that bc is what their from. but its kinda sad that we risk that for bad sex.
i love your "fave band" list. and mark ryden rocks too.
the blood is oozing from my chest again. like the guppy i am, i bit the hook one more time. i could have sworn this time the worm was real, and that there was no barbed metal spike inside of it.
i mean, seriously, what was i thinking? i don't need to have you as a safety net. when i stand on the top step of the ladder, cross my arms across my chest and fall backwards, i don't need you to catch me.
i want to lie in a field of brightly colored comforters. i want to roll down hills of stacked up pillows. i want to wrap our bodies in blankets like a passion-fruit burrito. i want you. i want to be with you. i want you to sing cheap trick lyrics to me (you know which song). i want to drink wine with you, eat strawberries...
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johnny_crotchrot:
sounds easy
what is with you girls? teasing and tempting me the way that you do? can't you see i'm a vulnerable, scared, fragile little animal that just wants to be left alone?
johnny_crotchrot:
All right Im going to try to say this without sounding like a fuckin nut. I fuckin hate it when girls tease. When I get around a girl that I am attracted to I usually just pretend to ignore them. Sometimes it works. I guess the type of people that this tactic works on are the ones that it drives em crazy when someone does not show the slightest interest in them. They then set out to get recognized, and then upon doing this, it turns into teasing. Bah.
Heh, I usually go for the lemon-lime Gatorade man. Im about to switch back to fruit punch though. I go back and forth between the three original flavors.
You ever thought about the military? Even the reserves can help ya out when thinking of deciding what you want your future to be. When I was stationed for three months in 29 Palms CA, I began thinking more about my future. I guess this all stemmed from
1)It was the first time I really had any freedom while on active duty status. In boot-camp you are a slave, and you dont get much more freedom in MCT.
2)Being around people from different areas of the country. I have had room-mates from NYC, Chicago, and a few from different areas of the west coast.
Hmm, what can switching over to Native American do for me. I dont know all the benefits but the main thing is minority status. It goes against my beliefs (I consider myself a libertarian) but I might as well take advantage of the system if it is available to me. There are people out there who have not done a damn thing for the country but yet the leech off the government. I pay my taxes, serve in the military, so I think that I should be entitled, and justly so when looking at these people, to use the government as they do. Sorry for the ranting bro, and for any shit that sounded fucked up. I'm tired right now so kind of speaking my mind and not giving a fuck as to how fucked, weird, or dumb it sounds. Later.
Heh, I usually go for the lemon-lime Gatorade man. Im about to switch back to fruit punch though. I go back and forth between the three original flavors.
You ever thought about the military? Even the reserves can help ya out when thinking of deciding what you want your future to be. When I was stationed for three months in 29 Palms CA, I began thinking more about my future. I guess this all stemmed from
1)It was the first time I really had any freedom while on active duty status. In boot-camp you are a slave, and you dont get much more freedom in MCT.
2)Being around people from different areas of the country. I have had room-mates from NYC, Chicago, and a few from different areas of the west coast.
Hmm, what can switching over to Native American do for me. I dont know all the benefits but the main thing is minority status. It goes against my beliefs (I consider myself a libertarian) but I might as well take advantage of the system if it is available to me. There are people out there who have not done a damn thing for the country but yet the leech off the government. I pay my taxes, serve in the military, so I think that I should be entitled, and justly so when looking at these people, to use the government as they do. Sorry for the ranting bro, and for any shit that sounded fucked up. I'm tired right now so kind of speaking my mind and not giving a fuck as to how fucked, weird, or dumb it sounds. Later.
just to hold it in my hands for like, two seconds. those frantic moments that made my hands shake like a late december wind. breathing in shuddering gasps, closing my eyes in an attempt to inhale/exhale smoothly.
that's what i got out of all of this? is love a blanket you wrap yourself in, or a gentle nighttime rain you endure the scorching daylight sun...
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that's what i got out of all of this? is love a blanket you wrap yourself in, or a gentle nighttime rain you endure the scorching daylight sun...
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johnny_crotchrot:
Hey man, you have that Matrix and philosophy book right? You should take a look at matrixfans.net symbolism forum. Some of the people who post on there bring up some good shit.
Never heard superjoint ritual, except for the new album's advertisment on muchmusic. Saw it last night after they went to a comercial on Uranium (which they had just played firestarter, first time I ever saw the vid for that prodigy song). They sounded like a heavier version of slipknot, but I only heard like 15 seconds of it, was tired, and drunk. Peace.
Never heard superjoint ritual, except for the new album's advertisment on muchmusic. Saw it last night after they went to a comercial on Uranium (which they had just played firestarter, first time I ever saw the vid for that prodigy song). They sounded like a heavier version of slipknot, but I only heard like 15 seconds of it, was tired, and drunk. Peace.
i want to split myself open from my chin down to my belly button. i want to scream at the top of my lungs until little flecks of blood start decorating my lips. i want to clench my fists until there are 8 half moon shaped gashes in my palms. i want to pound my fists against a cinder block wall until the bones start...
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silencenoir:
Sounds painful 
"where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves his broomstick arms,
and does a parody of each unconcious thing you do.
when you turn around to look it's gone behind you,
on it's face it's wearing your confused expression where your eyes don't go.
where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering,
it's a nightmare you'll never be discovering,
you're free...
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and does a parody of each unconcious thing you do.
when you turn around to look it's gone behind you,
on it's face it's wearing your confused expression where your eyes don't go.
where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering,
it's a nightmare you'll never be discovering,
you're free...
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i wish they had a little icon of a guy yawning. that's how i feel right now. i'm not sleepy though. just a yawn, and maybe a heavy sigh. a deep breath in, and out.
and may i just say, your fantasy is definitely the most unique i've seen =)
Seriously though, you should go to school. Become a writer or something. Peace.