Right about now is when I really wish I had someone to talk to that wasn't one of her friends. Because I'm sure the two people I'd call/text right now cause I think my marriage is in trouble would immediately contact her to find out what's going on.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)I given you all the freedom anyone could want to explore that side of you. I don't mind and in some ways don't care. You should feel wanted. People needed to be wanted from time to time. My role for as long as I can remember has been to give people the opportunity to do what they want regardless of the consequences, right or wrong. And you were no different. You give you that freedom and opportunity cause I love you and want you to be happy. I've only ever asked that you be honest and true to yourself.
But in the last week there's been contradictions that tell me otherwise. Maybe it's guilt. First it was the insistance that I stay out of town when I went to pick up my daughter. When it was obvious I was still very sick and would've rather recoup at home, I HAD to stay in cali sat. night because you wouldn't feel right going out with our daughter in the house. Then not a few days later, tell me that she never sees me and wishes she could spend more time with our daughter while she's here. It was your decisions that had us come back late Sunday afternoon instead of Sat. And then tonight, after spending all afternoon and evening at a friend's house with our daughte and her friends. Someplace you apparently didn't want me to go with you guys. You come home at 11:30pm to wake me up so I can watch the kids while you and your friend can go out. So I guess it doesn't bother you that much that our daughter's in town afterall like you said it did only a week ago. I guess making a really good friend like you did last weekend can make a big difference.
Now, as my daughter and her friend are watching a movie cause they were wide awake from getting home so later. She asks me if we're still going out to breakfast in morning like she's been looking forward to all week. What am I supposed to say? All I could be is honest and hope my voice doesn't give more away than I mean to. I let her know that you're going out late and will probably come back late so you might be too tired, but that we'll go to sleep soon. If we don't wake up too late, we can still try to go. I just hope she hasn't learned to read people's eyes yet cause I know my eyes aren't hiding much right now.
I know typically guys aren't supposed to show weakness or emotion and maybe part or some of it is my fault, but a person can only handle so much.
