psychotropic

today is a rough day emotionally....I am aware that my life is a roller coaster right now, but it is very difficult to accept the change in my moods and emotions. the survivor in me wants to slap the pussy in me for acting the way I have the last few days! I am perfectly aware and happy with my recent life choices and yet I cant seem to keep anything in check! I am starting to get on my pity pot and I hate myself for that...I know better, I asked for this, everything in my life will have an end result that I choose now; I am well aware that even under the current conditions, and even at its very worst, my life is still a million times better than that of most people....so why the hell cant I just brush myself off and start again. the human brain can be a very evil thing if one is not capable of controlling it and keeping it in check!! a smile one second and tears the next; feeling lost and confused and consumed all at the same time...all of this is something I am having a hard time with right now, I hope that I will soon find a way to cope and organize all of this junk in my head...I changed my life so that I can be happy again...