psychotropic

I am often lost in my own madness....always query to how others function; like a mad scientist for the human psyche. I need to know why people hurt, why they fear, love and laugh, steal and rape (as if there is a difference) What makes one survive and thrive in times of pain and suffering while others cower and blame the world for their misfortune. I'm often lost in the dark but cannot close my eyes, my mind races with thoughts of how to exist without just existing, how to be more than I am while still attaining my individuality. I love who I am, but am often conflicted with the world around me and where I belong in the scheme...I do not want to be you, or be like you, I do not need to belong to your "group" however I crave affection from others, I want to be in your mind and one with your soul. I want to know how you tick and why you tick that way, I want to mesh with everyone in some form or another....I love to love and I hate to love because it leads to heartache and scars that run to deep to heal. I crave the flesh of others....to be so close with someone, to feel their heart racing when you look in their eyes and read their souls...to touch their skin and feel like your body is melting, that connection if only for a moment is worth a lot of pain that comes with it.