psmith

"As i said before Deardrie, the long side of a crucifix is for fucking," remarked Aunt Agatha as she sipped her steaming cup of russian caravan. Ever since her business venture selling canned cock-a-leeky soup in Rhodesia failed, Aunt Agatha had taken to sitting in her leather chair, dreaming of exposed piano legs and offering bits of advice to her handmaid.

In the Garage, Jeeves was assisting young Bertrand Wooster as he climaxed onto the black leather passanger seat of his Wolsley. "Dash it, Dash it," ejaculated Bertrand "I want to go back to my dorm at Eaton!" "Du wirst GESPUNKEN werden," yelled Jeeves as he turned young Bertrand around and aimed for his posterior. "I say what, you made that up, if i recall correctly you would say something like "ich werde dir den Hintern Versohlen" or something to that effect."
Uninterested in his Eaton School boy talk, Jeeves went to work, with all the fury of a small gang drunken pygmy parliamentarians.

In the Garden Biffy was dreaming of mad love with a certain convicted glaswegian speaking shop lifter in a Volvo. Ever since his extensive collection of panty lint went on display in a small art gallery in Aberystwyth Biffy had felt that his life was incomplete, he sought love and his framed picture of Ira Glass just wasn't enough anymor.





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