pseekaal

Hello SG community

I wish you are fine, don't forget to drink hot tisane with citron and honney.

//discipline//

Everyday is a competition to get better. Better with myself, better with my mood.
I start some hypnotherapie lesson and it is great. It take five years for me to call the number my best friend gives to me.

I don't know if it is the Hasard but I feel better in some way, but I work on my social phobia who is a real difficulty to search a job. First step : not to be sad because people can't understand my social phobia. Not to be hurt when they are really mean. Now I just want to think that they are in other reality, and if they can't understant sensible world, it is not my deal. Es is nicht mein kampf.

I'm in search about a certain discipline : artistic and physical. It is three years now I practice Tai Chi chuan, sadly it is less and less, this year it is just 1h30 per week. I have to practice alone on my own. I have practice this morning, but it isn't every morning.
I want to practice another exercice with my voice, because I have difficulty to speak with people. My hypnotherapeute said it could be great to read alone in high voice (I don't know the expression in english...) with a big accent, I wish I have the discipline to do it everyday.
I wish to learn some song, but it is one month I said that and don't learn a song.
Each day I want to practice my drawings. It is like a musician, a dancer, if we don't practice we loose our win.

//embroidery//

Thoses last days I'm really into embroidery. I love it.
Like lot of things I discover this older. When I was a child I was really outside cultural things with my family, they don't share any thing, the children and the adults don't speak to each other, we just have to watch TV (I adored it but today I hate it) and the go out was when we eat to McDonald's (I loved it, but now I hate it).
I remembre I visit the Textile museum in Lyon (the silk french city) when I was 19 and fall in love with liturgic embroidery.
Those last years, I come more and more into martial/militaria stuff. And I really enjoy the militaria embroidery.
I love that but I'm really not a christian or a militarist. I'm kind of sad because of the war. Sad because of the wrong inudstrial reason of the war. Industry and capitalism already kill our everyday life in peacefull country, we are colonised by capitalism and it just afford miserability for more and more poor people. If 2 people get richer for 10 people more poor, it can't be a good deal.

//love//

I have a wonderfull boyfriend too.He is so sweet, so nice. I don't know that human could be nice with me, patient, listen to me. When I was younger I thought that to be with bad people gets me stronger, but it wasn't. I loose more and more my selfconfidence. How can I feel strong in a violent context ? I wish people would be more and more sweet, but strong to feel defensive when violent people or powerfull people (politician, boss company, comercial people, liars...) would dominate them.

//brooch//

I update my broochs 's shop. Please take a look and don't hesitate to said something.

I continue to doing some broochs, but thanks to my boyfriend, I feel more confident to do personnal stuffs :




//embroidery 2//

I look to lot of website and go to the BPI (the library of the centre pompidou) to look at more delicate embroidery :













I want to try another new technique for me : the crochet de Lunville and the goldwork.
So I bought some canetilles and the crochet, but my first step wans't goos because I realize how difficult it was.








//draws//


I didn't find the time to draw when I do embroidery, but I try to do my best and you can check my last drawings on my blog :