prudence

so, anyway... i don't think i'm going to go. i'm really bummed about it, but i don't think i'd have fun, anyway, knowing that it bothered rick. it would be different if he was at least available that night, and i could at least ASK him if he wants to go with me. it's very likely that he'd say no, but at least i would've asked him. he doesn't even know yet that i was thinking of going to this thing. at this point, under the circumstances, the only way i could go without him having a problem is if i lie to him, and the thought of that makes me feel sick and sad. i'm afraid i'll have to miss it, this time. and i'd already bought the blackberry schnapps! and who's gonna bring all the non-alcoholic soft drinks? i was the only one who'd signed up for that! oh, well...

it'd probably be better if i meet y'all for a night of bowling, or at The Alley...he'd have less of a problem with me doing that (even if he couldn't go) then if i went to a drunken night of mayhem and debauchery at some strange guy's house. and, it should be a night where i can at least OFFER him the option of going...