prudence

my tummy hurts...

at work we received a case of maltballs, in which every tub of maltballs was broken. so, they were all left for us to enjoy. chocolate malt balls happen to be one of my all time favorite candies, and i just ate way too many of them. so, my tummy hurts.

i'm starting to worry that i won't be able to go to tuff's shindig. first, there's the problem of finding a babysitter...i guess i could ask my mom to watch her...then there's the deal with rick. i wish rick could go with me, but he can't, and i don't think he's gonna be too happy if i go without him. he's already really annoyed that i spend so much time online (and rightly so, i think), so if i go to a party which came about b/c of a good part of my internet time, he's likely to be even more annoyed. nevermind the fact that the only way i know these people is from an internet porn site! it wouldn't matter, though. i think it would bother him no matter who was having the party, b/c of the fact that i was going with out him. neither of us has been to a party- i mean a real, nighttime, adults only party- since our baby was born, and if the first one i go to is without him, he's bound to feel left out. i'm more worried, though, that while that will be the REAL reason he'll be mad, he'll still start trying to make me feel bad and start calling me a bad mother for wanting to go out. shit- this is making him sound like more of a dick than he actually is. he's never called me a bad mother before, but he does tend to start attacking me for things completely unrelated to what he's REALLY mad about.

well, anyway- i'm still gonna try to go. i really want to.