prudence

i just tried to start a thread asking who here has kids (my second thread ever...the first one i started this morning, in 'music'). no one has responded yet... i know it's only been about half an hour...but, i'm starting to feel paranoid that NOBODY will respond, even the people here that i KNOW have kids. i'm always paranoid.

i want everyone to love me and worship me and want me. i can't believe i STILL feel this way. i'd always thought 'settling down' would make me feel more secure with myself, but it hasn't (NOT b/c my husband is a dick and treats me like shit- he's a wonderful, loving, supportive person who loves me no matter what).

if EVERYBODY doesn't adore me, then nobody does. if one person hates me, then everyone does. if one person says something bad about me, then it must be true. if i'm not the prettiest, then i'm the ugliest. if i'm not the smartest, i'm the dumbest. pay the slightest bit of attention to me and i'll fall desperately in love with you. give me the slightest criticism, and i'll hate you with a firey passion. there's no room for variation in my head. my head is not a pleasant place to be. it's always either too hot or too cold.

i wish i wasn't so sensitive. don't none of you worry about me, though. i'm okay. i'm just talkin'...

i think i'm finally gonna go make that cornbread.