prozacrefugee

Gone .

I'm like held by this life I have no interest in - I'm living in the future which is a slow death. I'm dreaming of being the walking dead, released, nirvana - to have an immediacy, a purity. Just to not be grasping. I worry cause I don't think I'll ever be able to be able to not act upon ideals, somehow I was born mostly free.

Self-destruction is that way probably - but I think I'm out of practice. I've built things with my own bizarness in mind - I think God made a stone to heavy for him to lift. So know I can't stay, and I can't go. The hell inbetween?

I've grown old without learning to enjoy eating shit like most people I see seem to enjoy. And so I guess I'm going to disappoint everyone - because siren calls are more important than houses in the suburbs where you hate yourself and the person who married you, likely because like you they're desperately trying to forget they'll die and they don't do anything but mark time.