I've been mute for a week (not that I have a lot of people following my work yet but well) as I was enjoying a week in Paris with my friends.
It's funny to see that as we get closer to our 30's, we suddenly realize everything changed so fast in our relationships with our friends. Not that I didn't notice it before but it hit me so hard this time. Like everyone is getting a tidy life, following it's own path and it's like the good ol' days happened billion years ago (or was it all a dream ?). Almost all my oldest friends are in a relationship and even starting to build some life project and I'm still here, as single as half of my socks, and sometimes it kinda hurts... But these days, I just feel like I'm leading my own way through life and it happens more often everyday. I guess if I keep going on my own, I will get used to it completely and eventually, I won't feel like a total outcast/lost cause anymore.
And on the other hand, while talking to them, I just got to realize that even behind that picture perfect life, they were just as lost as I am, just not on the same aspects of there lives. So my guess is that you just can't have it all but that's the point. I want it all. Not just because I'm a self-centered little brat who thinks she deserves it, but more because I want to believe it's possible to achieve a life you won't be bitter about 20 years later, thinking you could have done more if you just tried. So let's just try for now. Let's keep trying.
On a completely (or not so completely) different topic, i'm working on lowering my expectations towards other people. I put the ones I love on pedestal, and not only it puts too much pressure on them, but I always end up hurting. No one wins and it's just too sad...
Just a treat for the ones who got all the way to the end ;)
See you later, alligator !~
