I once had this friend in Orlando who would not buy toilet paper. I told this to people and they always asked what did he do?
I had to go into the story of how his mom would send him some. I never understood this. I asked and he said : "When you are at a check out line people start thinking of you on the bowl when the see the toilet paper". He said some other shit too but man I just didn't understand.
So we went to Kmart by Full Sail one day to buy stuff for our houses and he was like "damn I am out of TP I have to break down and buy some since mom hasn't mailed it to me yet". So he was in line and asked me to act like I was buying it. Of course I said fuck no , take care of your own issues. So he was walking out with his bags and the alarm on something he bought went off so security has to check the bags,
man he was just freaking out and walked out saying "Of course it was the bag with the TP in it.

EVERYONE GOES TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM !!!

I yelled

man it botherd me to hear him say TP crap alll the time